A famous child psychologist once remarked, when asked about child anger management techniques in parenting, said, "there are no bad kids, just mad kids". There is a lot of truth in that statement because, as parents, we tend to over react and treat the anger as bad behavior and nothing else. We concentrate too much on the child's angry reaction and immediately think of punishment, consequences or just ways to get back to some sort of normality.

But why not try some empathy for a change? Why not repeat the child's angry words in a calm voice and repeat the words introduced by some introductory sentence, such as, "you just said that..." Once the child hears this, he can switch on to a different wavelength and knows that he has found someone to listen to him. This is a great way to start resolving the issue.

If the child responds calmly, then you can start a discussion about what made him or her angry. Who was it, what was it or what happened? Then you can say that you understand how they are feeling but lashing out violently and kicking furniture is only one way of dealing with anger.

This should open up a discussion of the different ways of dealing with anger. You can mention what you do to get rid of your anger. You try to keep calm and not react immediately. You try deep breathing and counting to ten. You resolve not to talk to the person who has made you angry for at least a day. Anger can help you to take action and do something constructive to get rid of it. If only we could learn how to take action without getting angry.
It is fascinating to watch angry people who have not succeeded in closing an angry episode and who carry this anger from one relationship to the next, from one job to the next and so on. If you are an angry parent, then you will definitely find it more difficult to help your child. Take anger management classes online.

There are other child anger management techniques which resolve around playful activities which can show kids that they are actually fun ways in which they can get rid of their anger or “angries” as they are sometimes called.

One child psychologist has recommended writing on a sheet of paper what makes kids angry. This sheet is usually placed on an outside wall. This can contain names of people, things, situations, behaviors and so on. The kids write them down and they start to vent their angry feelings by throwing wet toilet rolls at these!
For very young kids we can ask them to imagine that the soap bubbles they blow away are all things that make them mad. Encourage them to tear up old newspapers and tell them that they are getting rid of their “angries” and then encourage them to put them in the correct recycling bin. We can teach a bit of respect for the environment while we are at it!

Once we get the children involved in these activities, it is very easy afterwards to encourage them to talk about why they get angry and what are the non violent ways of dealing with it. This is really the secret because the parent is now in a supportive friendly role rather than being one who reacts angrily when a child gets mad. There is a world of difference!

Robert W. Locke

http://www.child-behavior-home.com/