The first major challenge when it comes to conflict is that we are taught to win at the expense of others. When we get into a fight or disagreement, it's as if many of us step into a boxing ring and fight against one another--instead of realizing that we are actually on the same team

Three Conflict Response Styles and Strategies
When we play the adversarial game of conflict, there needs to be a winner and a loser. During a conflict with at least two opponents, the following two strategies are typically used:

1. "Punch Response" - This involves one fighter getting caught up in the
heat of the moment and letting it rip--no holds barred. "Punches" below the belt
include berating, demanding, accusing and defending. This style also includes
physical abuse, yelling, screaming, and saying things that we might regret later
on. Generally, even if one opponent wins, the other finds ways to get back at
him or her in the next argument.

2. "Pull Back Response" - With this strategy, one person will choose to be the ostrich with its head in the sand. This opponent will call a "timeout", so to speak. But this only postpones the game, since all timeouts come to an end. One can pull back by withholding sex (or love), using the silent treatment, taking long timeouts of hours or days, or by leaving which ultimately leads to an explosive match later on.

The above two response styles are doomed to failure simply because they make the
other person the enemy--the person to beat (emotionally or verbally).

There is another conflict response style, however, that leads to greater success and resolves conflicts.

It places the other person into the role of partner--an ally sharing a common goal of transforming conflict into peace.

3. "Potential Response" - This strategy focuses on the potential of working towards a common goal to find a mutually beneficial solution that can lead to a "win" for the entire team. Those who use this conflict response style know that sometimes we must move through the darkness of conflict to get to the light of deeper connection.

From talking individuals affirm what is good about their union--knowing that understanding, compromise and compassion will help everyone triumph in the end.

Conflict Resolution: Tips to Ensure We All Win!
If you want to create and maintain peace in your family, it is important to remember that all our family members (including ourselves) are on the same team.

If anyone of us feels like a "loser", it will bring us all down. The happier and more fulfilled you are, the less you will need. The happier and more fulfilled you are, the less you will experience conflict and the less you will need conflict

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