No longer to we ask “Aren't we through with our parenting duties by the time our kids are 20-somethings?” The truth is, we are still mom and dad but the change is in the way we do our jobs. What we used to do as parents of teen-agers no longer works in the transition years of becoming young adults. For instance, we did not have the option of online parenting classes. Our communication, the way we relate and speak, the ways we show love, even how much we give must be adjusted.
The online parenting classes teach that no longer can we give unsolicited advice and expect a positive response. No "Ok Johnny, go get your hair cut, buy a new suit, and then send in your resume to this company."
All those things may need to be done, but blatantly giving advice and instructing are no longer effective, as is taught in current online parenting classes.
The key question to ask when taking online parenting classes is "Will these words or this action promote a healthier relationship with my adult child?” If we ask that question honestly whenever we are in doubt, we will discover which way to act.
During the teens, we helped our kids a lot. To guide them in towards greater independence now, we can begin taking online parenting classes and doing less and let them do more for themselves. Part of becoming a responsible citizen is learning from online parenting classes to accept personal obligations and to respect others. How do we do this? By saying “no” more often.
Some parents acknowledge saying "no" to their kids is tough. How do you all of a sudden start saying, "no, you can't borrow the RV or the boat" or "no, I cannot baby-sit again this weekend?" Give an honest explanation. If we are respectful, while honest and gentle, our children who have learned from online parenting classes themselves will understand more readily.
So yes, we are still active in our online parenting classes and in our parenting role as our kids transition into adulthood. But it's not just their transition.
It's ours too, and if we've done our job with online parenting classes well, we can enjoy the mutual satisfaction of a friendship with our child for the rest of our lives.
http://www.MarthaPopeGorris.com