As a parent educator, I have been blessed to work with groups of people from all over the world who want to enhance their parenting skills or find help in the midst of crisis. None reinforced the choice of my calling as did a participant a few years ago. Regardless of the subject, a beautiful young woman continued to show up at my weekly parenting class. She slipped into a seat in the back of the room and took volumes of notes but refused to participate in group discussions. This kind of issue often surfaces and is dealt with in a divorce parenting class.
Attendees varied from being court assigned, some child care providers looking for additional training, and parents who wanted to learn about a specific topic. She never signed the roster or filled out an evaluation. She always rushed out of class while I was visiting with others, so I never got an opportunity to get to know her on a one-to-one basis.
Then one night, I shared the story of a foster daughter coming into the kitchen when my husband and I were dancing to a tune on the radio. Becky collapsed on the chair and sobbed, "I never knew parents danced together. I knew they fought and argued and threw things, but I didn't know they laughed and enjoyed each other and their children." This kind of issue often surfaces and is dealt with in a divorce parenting class.
We were stunned and heartbroken. It never occurred to us that living in a normal household was almost like living in a foreign country to her. We consoled her, "Oh Sweetheart. We are so sorry you had to see people be unkind to you and one another. You didn't deserve that and it wasn't your fault." "Someday", she vowed, "I want to have a man who will dance me around the kitchen." We promised her that she would, and she did. This kind of issue often surfaces and is dealt with in a divorce parenting class.
After others left the class that night, my mystery participant approached me and requested a few minutes of my time. When we sat down, she asked if I would hug her. I told her what an honor and privilege it would be and how much I admired her diligence in attending the parenting classes. She then told me she came, not because she had children or worked with children, but because she had never been allowed to be a child. Her mother was mentally ill and from the time she was 7 years old, she was the adult in the family. She had been forced to assume the role of caretaker for herself, younger siblings, her ill mother and drunken father when he showed up. This kind of issue often surfaces and is dealt with in a divorce parenting class.
The classes helped her recognize the chaos had not been her fault and she had done the best she could under the circumstances. Each week, she would review notes from the class and ask herself, "Can you do this?" Her confidence and knowledge grew as more and more often, the answer was yes! She is now a wife and mother and doing such a good job. I'm always pleased when she shows up for parenting classes. Now she has lots of techniques, tips and contributions to share on having a happy cooperative family. The highlight of seeing her again is when she hugs me and says "I danced in the kitchen today." This kind of issue often surfaces and is dealt with in a divorce parenting class.