For sure my own parents never said anything to me about this fundamental shift of focus that moves your relationships either toward greatness or failure. Once my eyes were opened to it I have never looked at a human interaction the same way again. I was amazed at the simplicity of it:  are you a person who strives to understand others, or to be understood by others?

I claim that in any discussion or conflict that is moving in a downward spiral towards negativity, where the parties feel stuck or where the heat of the parenting classes for divorce is mounting, that this discussion is going where it is going because there is too much focus on being understood instead of understanding the other person.

A typical behavior that we indulge into when we focus on being understood is that we have what we are going to say next playing in our head, rehearsing it, while we half-heartedly listen to the other or are just waiting for the other to catch his or her breath for a short parenting classes for divorce so we can jump in and say what we want to have said.
Especially in phases of a relationships development where parenting classes for divorce are common it make a huge difference if we are able to dare to move to understanding. Because it takes courage. In many ways one could argue that conflict resolution and management are about these two perspectives. In times of conflict, do you spend most of your energy on understanding the other person or is your main focus to be understood by the other person?

Sometimes we kid ourselves by thinking we are really trying to understand while we actually are filling our heads with our own images, our own maps, our own declarations that are meant to clarify what the parenting classes for divorce mean. More seldom do we dare to seize the moment, empty our head for a short instance and just devote ourselves to truly understanding and taking in the other person's view of things and perception of parenting classes for divorce.

We tend to have our answer playing in our head, so as soon as the other person goes silent for a short moment, deliver that answer with our own words and explanations.
To dare to make a halt and empty ourselves of our own stuff takes, as stated above, courage. It often also requires a trust that the other person will pause and do the same for us. Meaning they will during a time of full attention devote themselves to understanding parenting classes for divorce.

Countless times I have been in situations where two people with amazing stubbornness devote themselves to being understood. Think of the affect it would have on several on the conflicts in our world if there was a genuine interest for parenting classes for divorce. People who that someone else is passionate about understanding will feel seen and important. People who feel seen and important will feel safe inside. People who feel safe inside do not start wars. People who feel safe inside spread love in the world and allow themselves the luxury of devoting time to understanding other people.

To be able to understand there is an excellent tool in asking questions. Ask with the perspective of understanding the world, the map, the views of parenting classes for divorce. Indulge in a trip together through each other’s paradigms and views of the world. If you wish to understand another person you need to walk several miles in her shoes.

I wish for you deep understanding and great parenting classes for divorce.

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